Tales from Other Earths

We scoured the multiverse for new stories from other Earths. Here are the absolute worst.

 
 
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The Lamest Vampire Story Of All Earths

"Cranston collected himself and headed for the manor. He glided along the grass like an infernal amulet over virginal cloth, thinking about how good it would be to see his fellow brothers and sisters of the damned ..."

 
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The Lamest Fantasy Story of All Earths

"Kito Daggerlick, clever rascal that he was, was stuffing a silver candelabra from a nearby table into his magic bag. The guards drew their swords. 'Who invited this knave? He’s greedy as a dwarf!' smirked Merryfun. Waddle reached for his axe, but Bixby placed a hand on his tiny shoulder and the dwarf calmed down. 'Oops,' said Kito, smiling charmingly."